Old Age: A seasoned kind of beauty

I spent several wonderful hours back in the Alzheimer Unit yesterday. I gussied up several of the ladies with makeup, gave hand massages, helped serve refreshments (many of the residents can't eat or drink on their own), and "danced" and sang with several of the residents. I was so happy to see that some of my dear friends were still doing fairly well--Helen, Elcee, Jim and so many others. I missed seeing Leo and Bea and Elma, but I'm so happy that they've moved on to more glorious spheres and more glorious bodies. The cycle of mortality really is a beautiful thing. I think we're too often afraid of it and don't embrace it for the wondrous plan that it is.

I'd just like to issue you a challenge tonight:  respect those who are old and aged by treating them like the young and spirited souls that they are. They really are just like you and me, only smarter and tougher. They're just confined to a nearly-ready-to-be-resurrected body and we aren't. So try to look passed what you might see or hear or smell; rather, look through their sometimes clouded eyes to their spirits. It's what's on the inside that counts.

Farewell, September

Dear September,

You were good to me. Thank you. You definitely had your difficult patches, but I feel like all in all you were a beautiful month with beautiful moments.  You're one of my favorites and I'll look forward to seeing you next year.

Love, Me

***

I think we've all had months when it was more of a Green Day "Wake Me Up When September Ends" rather than an Earth Wind and Fire "Dancing in September" month. Anywhere between that spectrum, the trick is to love life for the ride and the grand and sometimes daunting adventure of it all.

For your enjoyment-

Other excellent September Songs:

-See You in September, The Happenings.  (From the oh-so-excellent doo-woppy era.)
-September Morn, Neil Diamond.  (Wonderfully romantic.)
-September, Earth Wind and Fire.  (Dance party.)
-Wake Me Up When September Ends, Green Day.  (Great for when you just plain feel that way.)
-September, Chris Daughtry.  (Versatile--I feel like this song can mean several different things.)
-September Song, Willie Nelson.  (Beautiful. I'd say this one captures the spirit of my September.)

Even a cluttered life is a good life

I am going to absolutely lose it if I do not do something about the clutter all over the house. It's testing my sanity...

I have no idea how these kind of messes happen. They're not all that disastrous--they're just so pervasive. It's like the mess is EVERYWHERE. *shudder* I'm not OCD--I just have a burning testimony that I function, think, and act better in "a house of order."

Thus far this evening, I've had to to do homework instead. Which means I'm going doubly insane.

Good news:  I'm at a point in homework where I can pick up a few things and put them back in their respective places before heading to bed with Blake.

I know I'll sleep so much better.

I hope you've all had a lovely Tuesday. Devotional was lovely today. I took my first nap of the semester on campus today. Blake's team won their first soccer game this evening, 9 to 1. (I feel for you, white team.) We rescued Beth from a flat tire in Springville. We ate at the Pita Pit. I've been listening to Jess Penner. I'm about to go pick up clutter.

Bottom line:

I live quite the wonderful life.

"This is My Country - Land that I Love"

Uncle Sam put me up to this post. ;)

My feelings for this country have been poignant and mixed that last several weeks, so The Fourth of July was a unique holiday for me. I just wanted to share some thoughts with you.

I love this country.  So dearly.  The more I study and become involved in its affairs the more I am certain that this land really is "promised".  There are so many admirable things being done in the United States--so much to praise and be proud of.

As an example, I attended a fireside just before the Fourth where they played the Armed Forces Medley and asked all those in the audience that were veterans or family of veterans to stand.  This easily ranks on my Top 50 list of Favorite Things Ever.  I get choked up as I see quiet old men with backs bent by age stand as they hear "Off we go into the wild blue yonder..."  To any who may be reading that have served or have had a parent, grandparent, sibling, or especially spouse serve, thank you.  Your gift is sacred and I appreciate it more than I can express.  Readers of this blog may not know that my grandpa served in WWII.  I've never stood during the Armed Forces Medley because I have felt myself too far removed to really be worthy to stand.  But Grandpa Pike passed away a year or so ago, and shortly before The Army Goes Rolling Along, I had a very clear thought:   

Stand.  Just in case Grandpa is watching.

As the music started, I stood tall and straight with my head held high and a smile on my face.  As I stood, I felt that somewhere, maybe even close by, my young, handsome, robust Grandpa was standing the same way in salute.

Again, there is so much to be proud of.

But as I said before, my feelings have been so mixed.  While there's so much to be proud of, there have been many issues recently that concern me and make me hang my head.  I'm concerned about the integrity of some (not all) elected government officials.  I'm concerned about the recent Supreme Court ruling that upheld the mandated Health Care law and passed it as a tax. I'm concerned about the upcoming election, and the potential ramifications of the outcome.

I have also become increasingly concerned about the filth that is not only tolerated, but embraced and loved and worshiped in our country.  Just prior to the Fourth, a "box-top hit" was released called Magic Mike. This proved to be the straw that broke my back.

The picture below was one of many posts like this on the facebook wall of one of my friends.  

We went to high school together.  And Girl's Camp.  And church.

Actually, Unnamed Individual, I think it does matter what this movie's about (for those of you who don't know, it's basically about male strippers). And it matters that it's full of half- or full-naked men. Or that it contains pervasive sexual content and graphic nudity*.  Or that it also includes approximately 156 F-bombs.**  It's no surprise that Hollywood would come out with something this seedy--they've been doing it for years. The shock came as I saw all the people that I know that were heralding the coming of this blockbuster with a kind of crazed reverence. Unnamed Individual was not the only person raving about this movie for weeks prior to and following its release. A friend I had in seminary went and saw it with her mother.  That breaks my heart.

What are we thinking?

This and other incidents had been weighing heavily on my mind as the Fourth approached.  It did nothing to comfort my heart when on the Fourth of July, I happened upon this during my daily scripture reading:

Mosiah 7:29-31

"For behold, the Lord hath said: I will not succor my people in the day of their transgression; but I will hedge up their ways that they prosper not; and their doings shall be as a stumbling block before them. And again, he saith: If my people shall sow filthiness they shall reap the chaff thereof in the whirlwind; and the effect thereof is poison. . .which bringeth immediate destruction."

How's that for a pick-me-up?  In surrounding verses it says, "The promise of the Lord is fulfilled. . . Who wondereth that they are in bondage, and that they are smitten with sore afflictions?" My mind was cumbered with heavy thoughts on the Fourth of July, wondering if America--this country that I love and revere and cherish--would need to fall before or at the coming of the Savior. Wondering about the Constitution potentially hanging by a thread.  What do you think?... Are the American people ripening for destruction?

I promise, I don't want to be a dooms-dayist or a doomsayer.  I don't want to have a fatalistic, all is lost, "eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we burn" attitude.  That won't help anything.

But what is to be done?

Like any smart girl, I went to my eternally smarter mother who has done 36 years more reading, more studying, and more living than I have to see if she had any words of wisdom.  As always, she did.  She led me to a talk/booklet by President Ezra Taft Benson entitled The Constitution--A Heavenly Banner.  If you've made it this far in the post, I would strongly recommend you read it. It can be bought at the BYU Bookstore, Deseret Book, or on Amazon.com for just a few dollars.  Or you can read a much less pretty version here.  Either way, it'll take less than an hour to read but it will leave you filled with fresh insights on freedom, agency, and our country.  Even more, I hope you'll have a greater understanding, as I did, of what you can do to fulfill the duty you owe to your country.

The closing lines of President Benson's address left me feeling the peace, hope, and determination to press onward that I had been searching for:

"I testify that the God of heaven sent some of his choicest spirits to lay the foundation of this government, and he has sent other choice spirits—even you who hear my words this day—to preserve it.  We, the blessed beneficiaries, face difficult days in this beloved land, "a land which is choice above all other lands" (Ether 2:10).  It may also cost us blood before we are through.  It is my conviction, however, that when the Lord comes, the Stars and Stripes will be floating on the breeze over this people.  May it be so, and may God give us the faith and the courage exhibited by those patriots who pledged their lives and fortunes that we might be free."

May it be so.

Oh, thus be it ever, when free men shall stand

Between their loved homes and the war's desolation.

Blessed with victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land

Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!

Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,

And this be our motto:  "In God is our trust."

And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

*MPAA Rating
**KidsinMind.com

How to Save a Life

(Written Sunday, May 27)

Girls:  Anyone who reads:

If you're ever sitting in Relief Society (or wherever) and notice someone who is/has been fighting back tears for the entire lesson, is wiping her drippy nose and drippy eyes on her fingers, hand, arm, etc. because she has exhausted the one kleenex she had in her scripture case, and you can see very distinct signs of distress in her face rather than the "this lesson is so spiritual it's leaking out of my eyes" contented look, here are some suggestions:

1.  Get the girl a kleenex for crying out loud! (No pun intended.)
2.  Put your arm around her.* Even if you don't know what to say, and if you feel awkward (which you probably will), this girl needs something.  Human touch is generally a good start.  Her quiet but very socially apparent tears are nothing less than a reverent scream for help.

"And now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, 

and are willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light; yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort,  and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in...  

Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being...a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with...?" - Mosiah 18:8-10

Okay, so our culture sometimes doesn't jive well with doing things like what I've suggested above. I understand that, and I can definitely relate.  But for the sake of the suffering, please consider going counter-culture as occasion warrants.  Someone nearby needs your help, and in many cases (although not all) it may very well be visibly apparent.


Just food for thought.


*If you can't bring yourself to do the whole arm-around thing, at least ask her if she's okay. It's like arriving at the scene of a potential medical emergency: first you ask if the person's okay, then you call for help/911, then you proceed to rescue breathe, tie a tourniquet, do chest compressions or whatever else it takes to save a life. The scene you're witnessing in Relief Society could be just as serious of an emotional or spiritual emergency (I know she just looks hormonal, but she actually might be emotionally close to dead... you never know)--doesn't it make sense to treat it with the same life-or-death approach and throw cultural inhibitions to the wind? Anyway... I'll be done here. Just give this a thought the next time you're faced with a similar situation.  The End.

Nine Months

Nine months ago, I was sitting with all of the people I love most in the BYU Skyroom watching Dan, Jake, and Aaron perform their Blake and Annie "Jolly Holiday" tribute. (For those of you who don't know, I absolutely love Mary Poppins. Always have, always will.) At that point, I was sitting in a white dress next to my best friend and brand new husband. What a jolly nine months it has been!

Blake's best friend (Justin) is getting married August 3. My two best friends from high school are getting married August 10 (Kate) and August 17 (Chelsea). It'll be a really fun, happy three Fridays in a row, with our first anniversary tucked right in the middle. The other day, Chelsea posted this on facebook:

"I promised myself I wasn't going to be that bride who counts down the minutes and seconds to her wedding. But I realized something today that made me smile. 100 days!!"

This sparked my interest and I counted the number of days Blake and I were even engaged. Let's put it this way... Blake and I got married 122 days after our first kiss. (Granted, he had to wait about a decade for that first kiss. "Are you gonna kiss me or not?" was our theme song for several weeks.) In any case, that just makes me laugh and shake my head. To be young and crazy is a wonderful thing. :)

So... what are we up to nine months later? Today, Frosted Minispooners and Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast, Blake's at work for a few hours today, I vacuumed our house and cleaned the shower way better than I ever did for cleaning checks (having a shower wand is so nice for cleaning!), and later this afternoon Blake and I are going to go do a session in the Mt. Timpanogos temple. We didn't plan our temple trip to be on the eleventh, but it's a nice coincidence all the same. A little later, we might keep listening to Harry Potter on tape. It's our new favorite pastime together.

In short, life is good.  There are surprises, adventures, challenges, and mountains to climb, but it's a great journey that I'm glad I'm taking with Blake.

Somewhat Serious Musings

So I'm trying out a new blog title rather than Blog Title.  It's subject to change (as we all are) in case I have a mid-night epiphany sometime soon.

Another item of business... I think I need to post something right when I write it. It's my habit to start posts and leave them in a mostly-finished state but still not post them. When I come back to my blog to review the post, I chicken out and decide I don't want to post what I wrote after all. Instead, I then come up with a superficial substitute to blog just for the sake of blogging.

I think it's important to note that people blog for different reasons. For some, it's a life-log, travelogue, or baby-log--they keep people updated on the objective happenings in their life. Some people blog for a job. They write wittily on topics pertinent and interesting to certain audiences and seek to expand their pool of readers, and thus, their personal revenue. Some bloggers present life in a delightfully amusing way; others provide intellectual stimulation.

So I asked myself... Why do I blog? I blog because writing is so good for me. Writing what I think and feel is one of the small things in life that consistently has a salient power that fosters my change and growth. It adds a richness and a dynamic to my life that just feels so good. I feel fulfilled when I write. But I do not feel fulfilled when I write only what I think is safe for people to hear.

It's in my nature to be a little leery of sharing my writing because (a) I don't know really who I'm sharing with, as this is not a private blog, and (b) my writing tends to be a reflection of the deeper parts of me, for better or for worse. I know I shouldn't care about what people think, but a lot of times I do. Upon further reflection, though, I think that it's not so much that I care what people think of me, it's that I hate the ambiguity of not knowing what people think. If I know exactly where I stand with someone and know that they despise and loathe me more than rocks in shoes, twenty-page research papers, Spam Stew, and other atrocities, I can handle that. It's the not knowing that drives me crazy. What if someone I know, admire, and love reads this and thinks, "Oh my heck, will you please lighten up? What is your deal?" ... "I am so glad I don't have to live with you anymore," or "Thank goodness high school's over." ... "Why do you always have a bone to pick with life? Don't you know that people don't want to hear the deeper side of things? There's a reason our culture doesn't open up... nobody wants to hear it."  See, if I knew for a fact certain people felt that way, I'd be okay. People are entitled to their opinion, just as I'm entitled to mine. But for some reason, the not knowing is so hard for me.  It's the same way with the papers I hand in at school. I can have spent hours drafting and re-drafting a paper, only to hand it in with literally no idea of what the professor will think. (This happened multiple times last semester in my English 313 class.) She'll either absolutely love it or think it's one of those mediocre, almost-hit-the-mark papers. Either way, I'll be surprised because I have NO IDEA what she'll think.

So why don't I just keep my writing to myself and spare the world my sentimentality, quirks, rambles, and muddles? Why don't I play it safe with superficial topics for school papers and blog posts and spare myself any stress not knowing how me and my writing are being received?  Answer:  In a world and culture that hides behind defense walls of humor, sarcasm, and automatic answers to equally automatic questions---e.g. You see a good friend on campus and they say, "Hey! How are things going?" Your dog just died, your apartment just collapsed with all of your stuff inside, and you're on your way to have an emergency appendectomy, and you say, "Good. You?" "Good!"---I have always been a person who wants real connection. Superficial relationships drain the life out of me. I want something real, something human, something you can touch and hold and laugh with and cry with and burn your finger on and splash in rain puddles with. I want that realness and that humanity.

I had an excellent class last semester that taught me a lot about life. One of the things that resonated with me the most was this quote:

"Without vulnerability, there is no connection...

Without risk, there is no intimacy."

That's why I blog. That's why I take the risk to be vulnerable. I want connection in any way I can have it. I want to reach out to anyone who reads--stranger or lifelong friend--and hope that in a moment of vulnerability, the brokenness in me can speak softly to the brokenness in you. Or that in a moment of triumph, the strength in me can speak to whatever part of you would benefit most by hearing it. For those of you who have been following this blog, I think that's what I was going for in my very first post back in February 2011. In a way I was reaching out and saying, "Hey [Reader, Roommate, Parent, Friend, Sibling], I'd like to share myself with you. Can I connect with you?" My original blog title was The Dauntless Debut of Miss Anne Caroline. While my blog has by no means been dauntless (even now, it's taking all the courage I can muster to click the Publish button), this post is an effort to hold true to that initial pursuit of connection.

I know allowing ourselves to be vulnerable can be hard and scary, but I humbly suggest that in whatever way you can manage it, give it a shot. Just once. Sometime this week, reach out and offer a piece of yourself to someone, even if it's just your mom. You will not always be well received--someone may look at that piece that you hold out in offering and laugh at it, spit on it, mock it, or throw it in the dirt. But the times that someone takes your offering, holds it, cherishes it, and guards it as their own make all other futile attempts worth it.

Let's give vulnerability a try.

Connection and intimacy are well worth the risk.

Frank people

My grandpa was named Frank. I have an uncle Frank. And a cousin Frank. And aside from these great fellows, I have come to the conclusion that I generally admire frank people.  So long as they're not abrasively frank.

I have a friend from high school, who I look up to, adore, and admire in so many ways (she's just one of those awesome, empowering girls that could be on the "We Can Do It" WWII poster) who recently posted on facebook, "I hate today. The end." I like that. A lot! She can hate a day, say it, know tomorrow's going to be better, and know people are still going to love her because their love for her isn't dependent on her being always, 100%, undeniably rosy about life. That's an admirable quality that shows good sense and healthy emotional regulation. Always good...  Anyway, sometimes life is really, really tough. This girl knows: she's moved approximately five zillion times in the first year of marriage (okay, maybe closer to twelve), all across the country, in different states. All away from home and family. All while being pregnant a month after getting married. Oh, and p.s., their only car just died. Like I said... tough.  But you know what? She's tough, too. One of the toughest girls I've ever known. She can do it.

I've just been reading the blog of an old friend, and I was admiring her frankness as well. The tone of her writing so often just drips with a very refreshing sense of humanity. She can say things like, "I felt like the worst mom in the world when I have to leave my little girl in front of a movie in order to get other things done in the house with my new baby..." and "A few tears, talking to my husband, and then the world's okay again..." I like that. It's real, it's genuine, and it's not a cover for something bigger or deeper.

Sometimes the world can be overrun by frankness, but I think a healthy dose is good. The trick is learning to be frank but also kind. I've realized that a common quality in some of the finest people I know is their ability to be kindly frank.  Sometimes I manage to pull it off, other times I fail miserably. But that's okay, I'm working on it...

This post feels a little scattered to me--my apologies. Good luck with the rest of finals, college student-readers! I'll post more on life soon.

Remember, Life is a good thing! (Always.)

Just a Good Day

Today just feels good:

It could be all the hours I spent with Beth today.

It could be that it rained.

It could be that I let go of all my cares surrounding school. Just for today. 

It could be that I painted my fingernails a solid color for the first time since my age was a single digit.

It could be that I'm going to go out with Blake tonight.

It could be that I'm listening to Switchfoot on the Walk to Remember Soundtrack.

But really, maybe it's just

The Luck O' the Irish.

Happy Saturday!

Caucus Raucus

Kind of sad that those words look like they rhyme, but actually don't. (I guess some people say "rock-us," but I'm a "ruck-us" girl myself...)

On the bright side, the caucus was great last night! I've been to a few caucuses before and I could not BELIEVE how many people were there last night! The turnout was thrilling and exhilarating. Parking was a very happy nightmare, and our precinct alone had 239 voters!! Things were much more heated and energetic than the caucuses I've been to in the past, and I'm so glad I was there to give my vote. It was fun to look after the fact and see that Blake and I voted for the same three candidates to be state delegates. *Enter some mashy, gushy, MFEO line.* All three of our choices were voted in--woot!

Also very exciting: in my hometown, my dad was voted as a state delegate and Aaron is a county delegate! I was very proud of the Briggs boys last night. :) Blake and I have decided that it'd be a really neat experience to be delegates one of these years. (The county convention was the Saturday before finals and the state convention was the Saturday of finals, so we decided this year would probably be a bad idea.)

Hope you got the chance to go exercise your right to vote last night. (Or on Tuesday.) It did great things for my patriotism and made me want to get even more involved and more informed!

Weird Day

I just feel weird. Driving home from 9 hours of classes, what sounded like the best idea to me was to keep working on homework. As I was driving, I knew I was hungry. I was going to enter the garage door with a healthy plan rather than an unhealthy one, but celery didn't sound good at all and I ended up eating some raw Cinnamon Toast Crunch instead (which I bought several boxes of at Walmart yesterday along with Reese's Puffs because (1) I love my husband, who loves sugary cereal, and (2) I ad-matched an awesome General Mills deal that turned out to yield 11 cents an ounce. Woot!). You know it really is outrageous that they call it Whole Grain Cereal. "More whole grain than any other ingredient!" Sure, General Mills. They never mention that sugar is the second ingredient... 1.0000001 parts whole grain, 1 part sugar if you ask me. ANYWAY, I put the box away fairly quickly, and went to the computer to start homework. But I jumped on facebook instead. Not for very long--just a minute or two and I turned instead to the blogs of the people I love. No new posts, so I turned to my blog to post about this last week playing Mom and Dad. Didn't feel like writing about that, so I did this instead. Not sure what I want to make for dinner. Not sure what kind of music I want to listen to while I do my reading for Theories. They always talk about spring fever. What is this--spring coma?? Oh well, it's definitely not a bad day. Just weird.

In other news, I curled my hair this morning. Actually, I did it last night, in what I now call "bobbypin curls." It worked remarkably well except when I took the curls out this morning, I looked very much like a poodle. My hair calmed down quickly, though, so I can add this to the tally books of successful attempts at curling my hair.

Caucus tonight. If I get fired up at either others' passivity or hogwash, I may just nominate myself to be a delegate. My parents, brother, sister-in-law, and grandma have been delegates a few times--I think it'd be a good experience for anyone willing to put in the effort it takes to be informed and have an opinion. We all have a responsibility to do what we can do. This is the most fundamental, grass-roots level of government, and it's far more important than most people give it credit for. Can it be boring? Of course! But think of sitting in on a session of Congress or Parliament. A lot of seemingly boring things have the potential to do a lot of good or cause a lot of trouble. Just a thought...  So, go to the caucus tonight, and if you're a democrat, rewind two days and go to your caucus on Tuesday. :) According to KSL News Radio (which I listen to on the way to and from school), there was a record turn-out of democrats at caucuses on Tuesday. Good job, Utah democrats--I commend your political involvement. Republicans, let us also have a good showing tonight, okay?

Anyway, here's to a weird ramble on a weird day. Enjoy the weather!

"It's not personal. It's business."

"What is that supposed to mean?  I am so sick of that.  All that means is that it wasn't personal to you.  But it was personal to me.  It's *personal* to a lot of people.  And what's so wrong with being personal anyway? Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal."

Thank you, Kathleen Kelly.  I couldn't agree more.

Challenge to anyone reading:  Be more personal today.  Life is personal.

If you're needing a boost...

Hello again,

I know I've been a posting fiend as of late, but this one is just if you happened upon this blog and you need a little uplift today. If you don't feel like you have the time, remember that it's here some day when you're feeling down.

Don't give up, okay? Good things are headed your way. :)

Elder Holland: "An High Priest of Good Things to Come" November 1999

http://lds.org/ensign/1999/11/an-high-priest-of-good-things-to-come?lang=eng&cid=facebook-shared

Today I feel...

Remember these?

You know, I've always wanted one of these... I feel like there's something relieving in such a direct, concise statement about your internal state of being. Maybe this is a manifestation of some subconscious need I have for expression or something. (Can you tell I'm an ex-psych major? With any luck I'll sneak out of BYU with a minor before it's all said and done. And by "luck" I mean hard work and grit.)

Anyway, a few months ago about I wrote about "Today I feel" boards that had songs instead of adjectives. (Check it out if you're interested.)

Well today, I feel these. Particularly the second track.

Disclaimer: Life is good. Always.

Twenty-three Thousand Words

They say a picture is worth a thousand words... In this case I'd say that number is definitely an underestimate. In either case, here are a few pictures from the last 3 months or so.

August 11, 2011 -- Mt. Timpanogas Temple
Where the story of Mr. and Mrs. Hull begins.

The next few pictures are a few from our honeymoon.
Blake took care of all the arrangements so it was a complete surprise for me!
Thanks, Blake!

We played at Temple Square,

...went to my first live session in the Salt Lake Temple,

...before boarding a plane and flying to...

...San Diego!

Here we are at the U.S.S. Midway

Man, I didn't know I loved beaches so much!
I wouldn't mind going back again. Soon. :)

Wow. If you've never done a session in the San Diego Temple ("the Mormon Castle on the side of the freeway"), please put it on your bucket list! I'd say that was a definite highlight for me. We got to do a session and several sealings, which was even more special since we'd been sealed so recently ourselves. It was a truly amazing and humbling feeling to be able to give someone else something that we are still only beginning to realize the power and magnitude of. I'm so grateful for the gospel, for temples, for the sealing power, and that the friendships and partnerships we create in marriage can be forever.

Once we got home, it was time for "real life," as Blake's Dad calls it.

Behold: the oh-so-glamorous lifestyle of newlyweds! :) The first morning in our little apartment, I snuck out before Blake woke up to get some milk and cereal so we'd at least have something for breakfast. But there was no helping the fact that we had exactly one bowl and no table or chairs to speak of. So there we are... Cold cereal on our living room floor with Blake eating out of a saucepan. Good times!

And the adventures continue... Here was the first football game. Against U of U. ... On a happier note, we have had lots of fun going to games with Beth and meeting up with Dan, Aaron, and the kids at half time. Cougars for life!

Beth and I have had so much fun this year!! We're taking a Humanities class together, (if you have to take it, better take it with a friend, right?) we eat lunch on campus together, walk home together, go grocery shopping together, and she even comes over and helps me with dinner on occasion. What a peach!
Here we are in our BYU hats. (This picture was taken specifically for you, Dad.)

One of the several meals I've made in the last few months. Blake was so proud that he wanted to take a picture of our well-set little table. Notice that by this point we have a Lifetime table (courtesy of Grandma and Grandpa), some padded folding chairs, a blue towel up in the window to keep the sunlight out and the apartment a little cooler (no A/C), and a domestic little table cloth thanks to my dear Mom! (At this point we still don't have a full set of dishes... Blake enjoyed eating off of a Pyrex pie dish for several weeks. You'd be amazed at how much more food you can fit on your plate when you have walls built up on the side.)

My goodness... This was a real adventure. This is the first time I cut Blake's hair. We didn't really have anything to put down under him or anywhere that would be convenient to clean up the mess, so we put a chair in the shower and cut the hair into the tub. I wouldn't really recommend that--it ended up being quite a mess. The good news is, his hair cut looked pretty dang good when it was all said and done. Give it up for the rookie! :)

I teased Blake that I was going to leave his hair in this very stylish buzz cut. *GarrRauw*

This, my friends, is among my more brilliant date ideas. Blake was quite skeptical, but I convinced him that it would be fun and that no artistic talent was needed in order to finger paint. Was it a masterpiece?--of course! Would it sell for very much at auction?--only if our grandma were bidding... But we had a lot of fun!

I'm sure you can guess who started this...

...And how it ended.
All in all, it was a pretty fun little date. Thanks for being a good sport, Blake!

A few weekends ago, we had all of Blake's siblings over (minus Quinton on a mission) for a sleepover in our little apartment. (!) We got Little Caesar's Pizza, went on an awesome BYU scavenger hunt all over campus (the first clue was "from Cosmo" inside the pizza box), and had brownies and ice cream back in our apartment while watching Star Wars. Chocolate Chip Pancakes for breakfast and church with us in our eighty-five year old church building made for a fun adventure. I hope we can do it one more time before Blake and I move in December!

The final destination for the scavenger hunt was my little car. We'd parked it earlier in the day in the parking lot across from the duck pond, with the most coveted prizes in the world hidden in the back seat. The kids spent a lot of time and energy trying to figure out how in the world Cosmo got a hold of my car!... Jace concluded that Cosmo must have had some sort of inside connection: Beth must have been in on the scheme with Cosmo. :)

Here we are with our brownies, ice cream, piles of blankets and pillows, and Star Wars. (Notice the artistic masterpiece on the wall.)

This is just a picture I caught one day when Blake (who is also "Quinton" or "Wesley" depending on which shirt he wears that day...) got home from work. Someday when we're done with school, he'll probably come home from work in a suit and tie and I'll find myself looking back fondly on the days when he'd come home dirty head to toe with smudges all over his face and smelling like grease and rubber. I love so many things about our life, and this picture that I see every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday is one of them. Life is so good. :)

Well, that's all for this post--hope you've enjoyed seeing a little chunk of our life in Autumn Apartment #7! I've tried to be good about taking pictures of our first little apartment. We'll be moving out in a little over a month and I don't want to only have memories of our first home together! After finals, we'll be moving into Blake's grandparents' house in Orem--they're leaving on a mission in a few weeks and have asked us to house-sit for them while they're gone. It's such a financial blessing for us and a whole new adventure is on the horizon!

Just Life

Sometimes I feel like I do really well at being married. Other times I feel like I'm no so great... But I'm a lucky girl: Blake's patient and encouraging and loves me through every kind of day, not just the great ones. What a champ!

For my benefit more than anyone who might read, here's a little chunk of life as of late. (Writing is such a healthy form of expression for me. Maybe I should more faithfully journal...)

Spanish update: For FHE last week, Blake gave a lesson about missionary work. We watched Elder Holland's talk from the priesthood session. (If you haven't watched it, I'd highly recommend it! I love how Elder Holland can so eloquently and masterfully lay down the smack-down. Check it out here.) We talked about missionary work together and he taught me how to pray in Spanish, just like they do in the MTC. (!) It was so fun for me--I love it.

This last week I would practice Spanish prayer phrases in my head as I walked to and from school, but I didn't do a whole lot of actual praying in Spanish because my vocabulary is so limited. But one day this week, Blake had gotten home from work, we were sitting up to dinner, and he said it was my turn for the prayer. He was so surprised when I said the whole prayer in Spanish!! It was slow and not very long (Dear loving Heavenly Father, we're thankful for the food. We're thankful for the day. We're thankful for the house. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.), but Blake said I didn't make any mistakes at all--even with any of the articles! I was pretty excited! So that was a small triumph for me this week. :) Ether 12:27 in action. So great.

On Friday as a part of date night, we went to Blake's soccer game... INCREDIBLE. I asked Blake to describe it and this is it: An "epic come from behind"/"start to kill them"/"barely hold on to the victory" kind of game. They were playing a team that was decidedly better than they were, Blake's team had no subs the entire game, and they were even one man down for the last 10 minutes. Somehow they managed to get several goals in succession (within a couple of minutes) and with 3 minutes left, we were up by 3 and thought we had the win in the bag. Then the other team scored two goals in about a minute or less! I was sitting on the sidelines about to wet my pants and watching the clock run down, hoping they'd hold on to their lead. They managed it and pulled off epic win for the underdogs! They're now faced with the dilemma of maybe being put in the top bracket for intramural (in which case they'd get dominated and eliminated from the tournament)--if they want to maximize their number of soccer games for their buck, they'd do well to start losing a few games. It's not in Blake's mental concept of life to give anything less than his all, and I think judging by the fire I saw on the field this last week I'd say none of his teammates are the type either. We'll see how it goes and I'll keep you posted.

After the game, we came home for Papa Murphy's, rootbeer, and a movie I'd picked up from redbox earlier as a surprise for Blake. I think he was a little worried that I'd gotten some sort of sappy/soggy film, but he was pleasantly surprised when we watched Invictus. Wow: an inspiring performance from Morgan Freeman, I love the music, and it afforded me a long-awaited understanding of the poem "Invictus" by William Ernest Henry. In ninth grade, it held virtually no meaning for me. Six years later, in the light of Nelson Mandela's life as well as the contexts I have since drawn from my own experience, the poem holds a much deeper meaning for me.

This clip won't mean as much if you haven't seen the whole movie or if you don't know the historical background, but you'll be able to get a sense of the depth behind the words. It's quite the movie; consider it the next time you're wanting to sit down to a movie.

A few thank yous:
Thanks, Karen, for the playlist on your blog. I love to leave it playing on the laptop because I love your taste in music.
Thank you, Courtney Anderson, for the Papa Murphy's gift card and for the fancy glasses that we used on our date.
Thanks, Christy for the rootbeer!
Thanks, Blake, for just about everything.

Have a good day!

P.S. I figured out how to do hyperlinks. Thus the link-happy post. Exciting!

Livin' the Dream

I know it's been ages since I posted and anyone who knows anything about my life is aware that I have a TON to update you on, but I just wanted to write out this quick post while the thoughts and feelings are fresh. I'll get to an update later. :)

I had a wonderful dream last night. Actually, like most dream nights, I had several dreams. One was weird (mechanical tyrannosaurus rex and barracudas??), one was pretty exciting (one of those good guys vs. the bad guys)--it'd make a great movie--and one was just wonderful. I won't overwhelm you with the details. Dreams are often hard to explain anyway--kind of one of those "you had to be there" deals. But I just wanted to say that I've been in a good mood all day and I've listened to O My Father about 20 times. I didn't have a vision or anything, but just was so grateful for our families and that we can have them forever.

Isn't life great?

Shorter hair, Skinnier jeans

Like a major earthquake or volcanic eruption, sometimes it takes a catastrophe to cause enough of a shift in your life to let certain things into or out of it.


Life experiences can completely change the face of who we are, like Mount St. Helens, but more often, little shocks and jolts cause minor changes in how we think, how we view the world, how we choose to spend our time in mortality, and what we value.

On an infinitely more superficial note, sometimes these bumps and jolts knock us hard enough to allow certain things slip through the newly opened cracks. For example, a few months ago, I cut my hair without giving it a second thought. My mentality was, "It's just hair. There are much more important things in this world." So I let my roommate Melissa wash my hair in the kitchen sink and chop it right then and there on our fake wooden floor. The long hair I'd had for just about forever = gone.







The shock that Suzy so masterfully captured in that middle picture gradually wore off and I quite enjoy having shorter hair. It's a lot healthier, I have spunky, sporty ponytails these days (always fun), I can do messy buns, my hair doesn't get as static-y from my black coat, and the wind picks up my hair so much more easily (a feature my good friend Ben would absolutely LOVE...) .

Life jolt's newest installment: skinny jeans.

GASP! Shock! Mild, benign made-up expletive! Blush! Swoon!

Yes, my friends... skinny jeans. Run and hide.

My first encounter was with a pair belonging to Suzy worn on a date that I needed an extra confidence boost for. (By the way, Melissa--THANK YOU.) I was surprised to find that wearing them didn't kill me. In fact, it was pretty painless. They're just pants and like my hair, my ankles gradually got over the sensation of being choked. A month or so later, I was out for a walk when I passed a college girl's yard sale. I took a look at a few things, saw some jeans, and determined that I'd go back after my walk and look into it further. There was a pair of jeans tagged for TWO DOLLARS. Jeans for 2 bucks?! Definitely worth trying them on! They were skinny jeans, and fit SO DANG WELL. (That is in and of itself a miracle for my curvy little body. Can't pass up a miraculous pair of two dollar jeans, right??) Even if I couldn't stand the skinny leg, I could cut them into shorts, right? Long story short, I got the jeans for FREE. (Wooo!!!) And no, I have not cut them into shorts, nor am I planning to.

So I haven't forwarded the skinny jean industry with my own money, (although I am very confident that the free pair I've inherited were originally bought with an arm, leg, and the birthright of the first, unborn child of aforementioned college girl) but thanks to Mom's stellar seamstress skills and an awesome Bernina that can revive holey-hand-me-down-jeans, I do have a pair of my very own. To have, to hold, and to wear when I'm feeling like the world and I can both handle the sparkly back pockets. Will I ever buy skinny jeans? Probably not. (Let's be honest: how often do I spend good money on things like jeans?) But Aaron recently acquired a pair that are waiting for me on my bed at home--we'll see if they fit.

Thank you, Drew and Dr. I

Sometimes you just have a driving hope for a better life, happy days, and a bright future. Today (Monday, March 28) is one of those days and I am loving it. I feel really encouraged after having talked to my Family Finance TA and Professor. My TA, Drew, is just one of those people that I can't not smile around--it makes me want to go into the lab every chance I can get. (And I do!)

Dr. Israelson is one of the most inspiring, founded, solid men that I have encountered among the BYU faculty. (And that is saying something!) I'll often talk with him after class, just to glean from his wisdom and be uplifted by the light in his countenance and his optimistic outlook on life. I asked him today how he managed to be so hopeful for the ideal when faced with a clear knowledge of the reality we face everyday. He said it was two things: #1- That he was nearer the end of his life than the beginning. #2- The trust that he had in the Savior. He explained that at some point in his life, he realized how passive his trust in the Lord was.

"When I started to take my trust in the Lord seriously, that changed a lot. If I am doing the very best I can and living worthy of the companionship of the Holy Ghost, the Lord will guide and lead me to where he needs me to be. Whatever challenges we're faced with, we'll be able to find a solution that will work--or at the very least, we will find a solution that we can happily and comfortably live with, knowing that the Lord's purposes will be accomplished as we rely on and in him."

Our conversation continued for a few minutes and I just basked in the security and harbor of peace that you can find in someone with a humility and devotion to the Lord so sincere that they really do surrender all they have and are to the Lord. I walked away feeling physically lighter than before I'd spoken with him and I just felt like no matter what quirks of mortality were headed my way, somehow things would work out all right.

I want to be the kind of person for other people that my TA and professor were to me today. So many people are suffering and carrying loads so heavy that if we understood the magnitude of their burden we'd probably pass out or spill both breakfast and lunch all over the floor. Some suffer outwardly and we're able to observe when we need to step in and offer a hand, shoulder, rope, or life-preserver. But I'd venture an easy guess that most suffer in silence, tying themselves together with a smile (with varying degrees of authenticity) and offering the same "good" that everyone in our culture has been conditioned to regurgitate when you ask in passing how they're doing or how their day was. These are the ones who need us the most. I can say that because I've been both types of people--the outward sufferer and the semi-fake-smile-tier-togetherer.

I don't know the point of this post, other than to tell you of two people who blessed my life today and to submit to all of us to slow down life just a little in an effort to be more observant of the fake-smilers who need a Drew or 'Dr. I' to be the "lower lights" that it talks about in Brightly Beams Our Father's Mercy:

***

Brightly beams our Father’s mercy from his lighthouse evermore,
But to us he gives the keeping of the lights along the shore.
Let the lower lights be burning; send a gleam across the wave.
Some poor fainting, struggling seaman you may rescue, you may save.

Dark the night of sin has settled; Loud the angry billows roar.
Eager eyes are watching, longing, for the lights along the shore.

Trim your feeble lamp, my brother; some poor sailor, tempest-tossed,
Trying now to make the harbor in the darkness may be lost.
Let the lower lights be burning; send a gleam across the wave.
Some poor fainting, struggling seaman you may rescue, you may save.

***

My lamp is often feeble, but I know that as I live worthy of the guidance of the Holy Ghost, I can be a lower light burning for some "fainting, struggling seaman." What say you, everyone? How about taking on the call to rush to someone's rescue?...

New life goal: be the kind of person and live my life in a way that my presence gives people a reason to smile and hope for both a better today and tomorrow.

Happy Monday!

Reasons to Smile

Sometimes I forget that "life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." (Thank you, President Hinckley.)

Here are some great reasons to smile:

-I have lots of people that love me. Really! A wonderful family at home and in Florida, great roommates, I've got dedicated home and visiting teachers, an endearing, inspiring relief society presidency, wonderful friends from home and friends here at Bountiful Court that I'm thankful for more and more every day.
-I've crossed several things off my bucket list in the last little while. I LOVE THAT FEELING! On Saturday, I ran my first 5K. I fought up University Parkway, across ninth, alongside campus, and wound around by the fieldhouse and the Tanner to the track by the stadium where I sprinted the last leg. 1255 is my new favorite number. (Don't worry, that was my race number, not my race time.)
-Yesterday, I got to look down on campus and all of Provo from the roof of the SWKT. I'll spare you my gushy, sentimental musings that I had on the roof, but I will say that it was sixty degrees and Provo has rarely looked so wonderful. BYU bucket list item: check!
-On Friday, I get to go to Divine Comedy. I've never been before, and it's something I determined to do before I graduate. BYU bucket list item #2: check!
-Last Friday, I attended the A cappella Jam to see my FHE brother perform in his a cappella group. I got picked out of the packed house in the JSB to join Vocal Point onstage. Whoa. Being swept off my feet without any warning and tearing up the stage with nine incredibly attractive men... No one but my mom probably knows what that really means for me. That wasn't officially on my bucket list, but the whole experience was the kind of thing that have literally made up my daydreams for years.
-Good music. Good hanna, what would I do without such great music!? You know those "I feel" magnet boards? I want to make one of those with songs instead of adjectives (happy, nervous, angry, ecstatic, etc). I'm so grateful that there seems to be a song for exactly what I need on any given day. Just for fun- I am currently listening to "Vanilla Twilight" by Owl City. (Hardly the song of the day, but definitely a great song.)

Of course there are a million more reasons to smile, especially if you watch for them, but I'm going to finally publish this post that I started a week or so ago. In the words of my good pal Elder Tyler Rasmussen, "Smile. Life's good."