You know how they say to never go grocery shopping when you're hungry? I say pish posh. If I go to the store hungry, there's actually a chance I might buy something. You see, I'm the tightest wad who ever wadded when it comes to spending money. It's ridiculous. There's probably some kind of official phobia of spending money--and I probably have it.
For example, I'll go to the store with a list of what I want to buy, and when something costs more than I anticipated, I rationalize some reason why we don't actually need butter or whatever. The things that usually make it into my cart are milk, eggs, bread (from the discounted day-old rack, of course), cereal that costs at least less than 13 cents per ounce, and the bare essentials for whatever I need to make dinner.
This is bad. And pathetic. And dysfunctional.
But never fear! Today I stumbled upon a solution: go to the store starving. That way, I have a constant reminder that yes, hunger is indeed a real phenomenon that cannot be avoided via sheer mental will. It's not some figment of our world's imagination. It's legit. With this in mind, I'd wager there is a considerably higher chance that my grocery bill will expand beyond my bare essentials, and that my ID (or dare I say SUPEREGO??) will sneak a few other items into the cart without my EGO noticing.
So... Does my theory hold water when held up to the most vigorous reliability and validity tests?? After going through the aisles making what I deemed to be all sorts of impulsive decisions, I went to a check out and waited to see what my total bill was.
$48.12
I was so proud of myself. And I can't wait to tell Blake. I'd say my new shopping philosophy is a complete success.
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