Meet Aubrie and Alaina. (Don't ask me who's who... their Mama was the only one who knew for several months!) I needed to interview a multiple-birth parent for my Infant Development class and thought of my cousin Jill right off the bat. These are her two identical twins, and if those polka-dotted vests and furry pink boots don't just melt your heart, I'll be danged.
Jill has some unique perspectives on the transition to parenthood because she entered the Mom-scene with two bundles, not one. She has since had her third baby, Vivian, and has a lot of insights to offer a rookie like me about all things parenthood! I'm sure they'll come in handy someday.
I thought you might be interested to read a few gems as well. Enjoy!
Q: Obviously you wouldn't change a thing
because you've got two darling girls at the start of your family, but do you
think it would have been easier starting out parenthood with just one instead
of two? What were the biggest adjustments you and your husband had to make as first-time parents
of twins?
A: I am 100%
positive it would have been easier to ease into new parenthood with just one
baby instead of two. However, I am
discovering that not all parents of twins have such a difficult time as I did. Some twins are healthy and mild tempered
which makes the only difficulty logisitcs--feeding two babies at one time,
carrying them to the car, grocery shopping with two babies etc. However, my girls were extremely colicky,
which means that they cried ALL the time.
At home, in the car, at church, everywhere. They also spit up constantly. Not just regular spit up, projectile vomiting
is a better description. So I guess I'd
say the biggest adjustment was never having peace...at least for the first year. Someone was always crying...and honestly sometimes
it was me.
Q: What are some differences you've observed in
raising/caring for Vivian as opposed to the Aubrie and Alaina double whammy? :)
A: It has been unbelievably more fun having Vivi than it was having the twins. Of course I love them all the same, but here are a few differences:
A: It has been unbelievably more fun having Vivi than it was having the twins. Of course I love them all the same, but here are a few differences:
I am able to pay much more individual attention to
Viv. With my girls, I had to hold them
at the same time, feed them at the same time etc. And it was much more a task oriented
environment. But when I feed Viv, or
change her etc, I goo at her, I look right into her eyes, I tickle her, we have
little conversations, little moments.
I'm sure I tried to have those moments with my twins, but I'm positive
it didn't actually happen very often.
Also I let them cry it out in their cribs much more than I let Vivi cry
it out. It was just too daunting of a
task to go in in the middle of the night and try to play that guessing game of
"ok, what does this baby want?" and then play it all over again with
the next baby.
A: Never having
enough...enough space on my lap, enough attention to pay them both, enough
patience when they're both screaming bloody murder. Just always that feeling of coming up short.
Q: In your opinion, what are some of the advantages of having twins?
A: I was just
bragging to some of my girlfriends who are pregnant, that at least when you
have twins, you get more bang for your buck!
You might be sick for 9 straight months, but you get TWO kids out of it
instead of one. It really cuts down on
that amount of time you have to spend pregnant in your life! :) Beyond that though, once the colic calmed down and the
girls started to be able to interact, they started having fun together. Now that they're 4, they're inseparable. They have a best friend who knows all their
stories, and all their secrets and shares their passions for teddy bears and
bugs and trains. They wipe eachothers'
tears away and laugh at eachothers' silly jokes.
Q: What is something that gets you through
"rough days"?
A: My personal
coping mechanism is trying to find or create order. Every single morning, the second I get up, I
make my bed. Then I go to the girls
rooms and make their beds. Then I go to
the kitchen and tidy things up. All of
this happens before I get the girls' breakfast.
Too often, they'll throw cereal or spill milk or something and if the
house is a wreck, I am more likely to lose my temper with them, but if I can
have some small amount of order in my life, it helps me deal with the disorder
that children bring. Also, if I start
off the day like that, it helps me let go of things later on. I can just sit and rock my girls in the
middle of a messy house if that's what they need me to do, because I know that
that morning I had order, and the next day I'll have order again.
Q: What do you love most about your girls? (Tough question, I know.)
A: I guess I love that they love me. I feel like I have these little best friends being molded right before my eyes, and that someday they will be my adult best friends. I love that they forgive quickly when I'm impatient and lose my temper. I love that they want to learn everything from Spanish to soccer. I love how smart and funny they are, and oh boy, how I love how utterly adorable they are.
Ain't that the truth:
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