A little of life

I love this girl. (And her beautiful baby.) Not just because of her wonderfully down-to-earth blog. Not just because I feel she and I see eye to eye on many things I hold sacred--like connection and vulnerability and engagement with life. I love her for her honesty, her sincerity, her realness. I love that she loves the beauty of the hand-written. I love that she is a dreamer and is unbridled by silly self-inhibitions. I love the pace at which she goes through her life. I love her for so many reasons, but one of the greatest is because she was the first tender mercy with a face that Heavenly Father sent me my freshman year. And let me tell you, it's a beautiful face. Even in her countenance, there is something about Claire that just made me feel like a Mother not so far away was loving me and watching out for me with an equally loving and dedicated Father. It's an amazing person that can give off a radiance like that. I only spent a few short days with Claire at a leadership retreat before school started, but the blessing of her influence has only grown as I've watched her life from a distance over the years.

After a relatively extended absence from the blogging sphere, Claire posted this and, once again, I loved how much I could relate to her.

Claire's right:  sometimes blogging just kind of stinks. Maybe it's not so much blogging that is challenging for me as is finding the words to express what I think and feel. That's how the last few days have been--I've had a lot of very important things and a lot of completely unimportant things on my mind that I've wanted to share with you. (Thank you, by the way, to those who have sent me comments publicly and privately regarding this dear little blog. It's sometimes funner to share myself when I know someone is listening.) But every time I start a post, I can't find the words to say what I mean and all my oomph for blogging sizzles out of my ambition balloon in a screechy whine that decrescendos into a pathetic whoopie cushion noise. {I dare you to try to orally reproduce that sound description. Right now. I did it and I started laughing out loud.}

But as we all know, life is a lovely series of ups and downs, feasts and famines. And every drought holds the promise of rain because let's face it, it can't not rain forever!

So until then, here are a few things I wanted to share with you:

• My bladder has officially become a wuss. I have never been the kind that couldn't hold it if I needed or wanted to. I have never been one to wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I can just hear my subconscious hypothalamus: "All right, Mr. Bladder... CHILL. I know you're in a bit of situation here, but you're just going to have to deal with it, because we are NOT waking up for this. Do what you've got to do--you're holding it for another four hours till morning."   Yeah. My hypothalamus is a boss. But now  it has become totally subservient to my bladder. New conversation:   
• Hypothalamus:  "May day, may day!!! Get to the nearest bathroom, pronto. We've got to go!" ... After obeying hypothalamus ...
• Frontal lobe:  "Oh my heck. Madam Hypothalamus, are you serious?? Was that one tablespoon REALLY that urgent??"
• H:  "Hey, don't ask me... We got frantic messages from Mr. Bladder--I figured it must have been an emergency."
• FL: "Mr. Bladder. What is going on? Was that one tablespoon really so important that you made Annie leave class? You're acting like you've got a UTI or something!"
• Mr. B:  "Um, excuse me! I have a developing human sitting on top of me that seems to think it's funny to kick and punch me periodically. {Bizarre sensation to have her kick downwards, by the way.} What do you expect me to do... Push back and tell her to get out of my grill?? I can't work under these conditions!"

Bottom line:  Bladder wins. And Annie feels like a fool every time she runs to the bathroom thinking it'll be important only to find that one tablespoon just was too much to handle. Ridiculous.

• I've been thoroughly enjoying Taylor Swift as of late. I find We are Never Ever Getting Back Together unabashedly enjoyable. It's so ridiculous--I know!--but I love it anyway and I snicker through the whole song. Something about it just makes me laugh and say, That's right Taylor--you tell him. (But while you're at it, shoot for a more mature relationship next time...)
• Halloween--my very first time handing out candy in our own house. It made me feel like the real Momma of the house, and then I realized... I am! All of my little Junior Primary kids came to the door and many were thrilled to make the discovery that Sister Hull actually exists outside of church. "Heyyy... I know you!! You're my singing lady! ... Did you move here?? (From the church building around the corner.)"
• I've been missing Beth a lot. We joke that anytime we don't see each other for an extended period of time, it's like she's back on a mission again. She's currently involved in a pretty intense tax competition and she's been quite the busy bee! The final showdown is this weekend and I'm sure she'll kick some serious fanny. She's quite the accountant, my friends. Anyway, I've enjoyed the time I have been able to spend with her though. She came over one night last week when Blake was working late and I laid on her lap while she played with my hair and tickled my back. There's nothing quite like a little TLC from the best sister in the world. We just talked about everything under the sun and had a jolly old time! Then we through together an adorably classy Halloween costume for her ward Halloween party that night--she was a WWII nurse and I'm sure there were many men in her ward that wouldn't have minded a gunshot or shrapnel wound if it meant she'd be attending faithfully to them. Seriously--so lovely. I'm so grateful that she lives close and that we're such good friends. 
• Last night I went to bed pretty early (up late the night before) and sadly without Blake who had to study for a test. But I do have a sweet but hazy recollection of him coming to bed. He climbed in and quietly came all the way over to my side to snuggle with me (it's usually the other way around). It's amazing to me that even though I'd been radiating in bed for over an hour, it's markedly warmer the second Blake gets in. I remember feeling him softly touch my shoulder before he kissed my forehead and snuggled down into his pillow. I love those moments.

Well, that's it for now, folks. Don't worry--I'll be back. I can feel rain in the forecast. :)