Deep Breaths

I called my Mom today and said,

"I don't know if I've just forgotten everything you taught me when you came to stay or what, but it is unbelievable how bad I am at this."

Commence discouraged breakdown.

You know what? It's all going to be okay. And this isn't just a vain attempt to console myself; it really is going to be okay. I'm sure of it. I'm only two weeks in, and so is Little Eliza. We'll both get better at this. Soon. Hey moms out there, any helpful suggestions? Aside from "Hang in there, it'll get better"?

Things that have gone well today or ever:

• We did get some rather incredible belches out of Eliza in this last feeding. (Atta girl, Liza!) Not all of the burps, but some.
• I'm pretty sure she ate fairly well and held most of it down. Tough to tell with breastfeeding.
• Eliza's a good latcher. I've always hated that word or phrase, but if you can't beat them (and you can't--there's no convincing the medical/pediatric/motherhood world that we should make a wording change), join them. "Latch on." There, I said it.
• Eliza went right down for her nap. She must have been absolutely pooped because she slept through a pretty significant spit-up and then me mopping her up.
• Eliza smiled at me.
• I got a nap this morning. *cue angelic chorus*
• Dishes are done, bed is made, house picked up, and laundry almost done.
• Been having a ball reading The Book of Mormon aloud with Eliza. It's charming how easily and naturally an animated reading voice comes out of my mouth when I'm reading to her. Seriously, Lehi's family traveling into the wilderness has never sounded so epic.
• We figured out that Eliza doesn't like to pass gas. (Which is ironic, considering how she can mess her pants without thinking twice once about it.) She'll squeeze and hold them in and her poor tummy gets more and more agitated until she's beside herself. BUT, knowing this, we can take proactive measures to help in her relief--aka, pulling her knees up to her chest into prime toot position. Let 'em fly, dearie. You don't have to have social graces for several more years.
• Eliza's healthy and I'm confident she's gaining weight. (We'll find out on Monday.)
• Found a hopefully great pediatrician and set a two-week appt. on a day Blake can go with us.
• I'm healthy, recovering well from my episiotomy and tearing, and married to Blake.
• Nice ladies bringing meals to our house--it's nice to feel loved and mothered when you're doing so much loving and mothering yourself.
• Unlimited phone access to Blake, my parents, Beth, and the Hull Family.

Well, there's more where that came from, to be sure, but I'm going to call it quits for today. Life is good, as always. Keep calm and carry on.