Change

"People are always telling you that change is a good thing.

But all they're really saying is that something you didn't want to happen AT ALL... has happened."

-Kathleen Kelly

I'm stressed. And hating change.

Change just throws me for a loop much too often. Even things that don't necessarily change my immediate existence. I think of Mr. Woodhouse--

Emma: "Had I not promoted Mr. Weston's visits and given encouragement where encouragement was needed, we might not have had a wedding today."
Mr. Woodhouse: "Then please, my dear, encourage no one else. Marriage is so disrupting to one's social circle."

Indeed.

Missions are a disruption. That's all there is to it. I know that they're wonderful and I have a testimony of missionary work, but I just plain can't help hating when someone I love gets dragged off to Florida or Germany for 18 months. I love you, Courtney. Come home soon.

So there's that change that's breaking my heart, and my own body changing daily, and the pending change of a new member of society that I'm in charge of keeping alive and guiding to the Tree of Life. No pressure.

No wonder I'm having a bit of a breakdown and feel like I want my mom.

On the bright side, all of these changes are on the bright side. In fact, contrary to Kathleen's sentiments (and sometimes my own), I do want these things to happen. Missions=good thing. Growth for Courtney=good thing. My body getting ready to give birth even if it's uncomfortable=good thing. New beautiful member of society=very good thing.

Okay, I think I've reached a point of sanity where I can successfully go to bed. I suppose it doesn't surprise you that I'm what you might call a self-talk girl. Thanks for letting me share my self-talks with you and all the other tidbits of life that I throw on this blog--the more I write, the more comfortable I am being frank and candid with you. Goodnight, "Dear Void." All is well.